Next Steps - Meeting Your Online Date In Person

Who Is This Online Date, Anyway?

If you're reluctant to meet your online date in person, ask yourself if you feel comfortable conversing with them online. E-mail isn't exactly a window into the soul, but it is a great way to get a preliminary feel for a person. Is he respectful and interesting? What's more, does he seem interested in you? Go with your gut feeling - you can't predict the future, but you can give yourself the opportunity to meet someone who has piqued your curiosity.

Where Should We Meet?

For the safety and peace of mind of both parties, it is imperative that a first-time face-to-face meeting between online dates take place at a public place. Specify the date and time in advance, and plan for an activity-based date that is fun and has a good balance between "face time" and "play time." For example, try a round of miniature golf or a trip to a local museum followed by a quick cup of coffee. Plan on your first date lasting no more than one or two hours - this gives you enough time to get to know each other, but not too much exposure if you turn out not to have any chemistry.

Safety First

Even if your Internet date suggests picking you up, make your own transportation arrangements. You wouldn't let a perfect stranger come up to your apartment - and no matter what the online chemistry looks like, your date is still a stranger until you've met face-to-face. Let a friend or family member know about your plans, and bring a cell phone or change for a pay phone. A bit of simple awareness goes a long way in a face-to-face meeting with your online date - if you don't feel comfortable, it's your perogative to end the date quickly and politely and move on.

Dress To Impress - Kind Of

It's understandable to want to look nice for your face-to-face meeting, but don't overdo it. Overdressing on the first date may put unnecessary pressure on yourself and your date to be on your best behavior and prevent the real you from shining through. If you favor jeans and a ponytail, your first date with a total stranger might not be a good time to break out the tiara and cocktail dress you've always wanted to wear. A bit of simple makeup, toned-down jewelry and perfume and a classy, but not too conservative look is a good guideline for women - guys can never go wrong with a bit of grooming and subtle cologne.

Those Pesky Expectations

If the chemistry has been great at the keyboard, it might be tempting to think the world of your new date before you've even met face-to-face. But be realistic and minimize expectations. Your date might be outspoken online, but more shy in person - or have some tic or habit that drives you crazy in real life. Even if you've spent hours instant messaging, your first meeting in person is essentially a blind date, and it's a good idea to treat it as such. You can't control the outcome of this first date, but you can come into the experience with minimal expectations and a great attitude. So take a deep breath, be realistic and get ready to have fun.

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